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Mort, Muriel and Neil Goldman
Mort Goldman Mort's defining characteristics are stereotypically Jewish, such as his whiny neuroticism, his chronic hypochondria, his wimpy attitude and his general gawkiness. Mort has terrible social skills, frequently discussing his various disgusting; and probably imaginary, maladies and childhood bullying in otherwise polite conversation. Mort doesn't mind revealing details about his customers' personal health problems; for example, in "Mr. Saturday Knight" he went into the details about a man with hemorrhoids, telling the man's daughter and her classroom that they were like stinking little balloons and that they stung him so bad that he had to apply the lotion in his car with a sock. In "Mr. Saturday Knight", he was a guest speaker at Career Day atBuddy Cianci Junior High School. He later joined the renaissance fair in an attempt to overcome his fear of swords. He tells Peter Griffin that he was stabbed in the ear by a man in a pirate suit when he was five years old, and again when he was 30. He also yelled out that he miscarried. In "Stuck Together, Torn Apart", it is revealed that Mort and Muriel watch movies to "Hotel California" and that his niece is Jennifer Love Hewitt. He once bowled a perfect game in "Blind Ambition" in a rather unorthodox way by rolling the ball extremely slowly down the lane. Lois has her photo shoot pictures developed at Mort's pharmacy in "Model Misbehavior", and then poses for a series of fliers to advertise the pharmacy. It is also shown that Mort hates the presence of Greased-up Deaf Guy in his store. In "Brian the Bachelor", to ensure that Lois could not purchase acne medication to clear up his zit, Doug, Chris, under Doug's influence, broke into Goldman's Pharmacy and destroyed all the acne medication. He sang "The Morning After" at karaoke night in The Drunken Clam in "Don't Make Me Over". In "Long John Peter", his pharmacy was damaged by Peter and his pirate crew, who made sure that the rack of cheap pharmacy toys was blasted. In "No Meals on Wheels" he is afraid of Peter's "scarejew" made in the likeness of Adolf Hitler and exclaims that Jon Stewart needs to be saved. In "April in Quahog" Mort is flipped off by Jesus and Jesus implies he's going to hell. In "Road to Germany", Mort's grandparents, Chaim and Sarah Goldman and other relatives are revealed to live in Warsaw, Poland meaning that Mort is at least part Polish. Because of Stewie's time machine, he was able to witness his grandparents' wedding, initially believing he was in heaven. He also interrupts the customary musical number in "Road to..." episodes before it could even start. In "Family Gay" Peter tries to get rid of his dead retarded horse 'Til Death by throwing it through the window of Mort's pharmacy. Mort returns the horse in the same fashion. Mort plays a Jawa in Blue Harvest and Lando Calrissian in Something, Something, Something, Dark Side and It's A Trap!. While the character gains Goldman's mannerisms, Goldman gains Calrissian's skin color. In "Road to the Multiverse", when Brian and Stewie visit a Disney universe, Mort comes in to greet his neighbors, who beat him up for being Jewish, prompting Stewie and Brian to leave. In "And Then There Were Fewer", Mort and Muriel are invited to James Woods's mansion, where Muriel is murdered byDiane Simmons, making Mort a widower as well as leaving Neil motherless. In "Tiegs for Two", he attends Quagmire's class on how to pick up women. In "Thanksgiving", he appears in a cutaway where Peter fakes his death. After Muriel's death, Mort finds himself in financial trouble in "Burning Down the Bayit" as he isn't able to cheat the customers the way she could. With Peter and Quagmire, they plot to burn down the pharmacy to collect the insurance. But Peter slips up and Joe arrests them, only to let them free when they bring back memories of how an insurance company screwed Joe after his paralyzing accident. Mort is also shown to have a relative who is a lawyer that looks just like him. Peter names a star after Mort in "Killer Queen". Mort wishes he had just given him the money instead. In "Mr. and Mrs. Stewie", Stewie plants a bomb in Mort's wallet set to go off when he opens it. After two weeks, Stewie plants another bomb that goes off when Mort burps in his hands, which he does. After the explosion, Mort checks his wallet to see if it's ok and the second bomb explodes. Mort recovers and reopens the pharmacy in "Tea Peter". When Mort sees a mob coming for Peter in "Ratings Guy", he panics and flees for the safety of the Quahog National Bank by using a Menorah as a jet pack. Mort appears in the special opening of "Valentine's Day in Quahog". Mort's parents appear for the first time in "Save the Clam." Mort reveals he was a record mogul in the 1970s at Mort Town Records in "Into Harmony's Way", managing such groups as Earth, Wind, Fire and Pollen until allergies and an olive addiction forced him out of the music business until he temporarily becomes Peter and Quagmire's manager. Peter and the guys travel to Jerusalem in search of God only to discover everyone there is just like Mort. Muriel Goldman According to her backstory in "The Kiss Seen Around the World", she met Mort at a dating service, though they both had their first kiss at age 14. She looks like a female version of Mort, and has a strong New York City accent. One of her main recreations in "Stuck Together, Torn Apart" was watching old films with her husband along with the album "Hotel California" to find if any of them synchronize. Death She was stabbed and killed in "And Then There Were Fewer" by Diane Simmons for discovering her attempting to frame Tom Tucker for the murder of James Woods, leaving Mort a widower and Neil motherless. She was one of the many people to be wronged by James Woods who invited them to dinner in his mansion to make amends after being a born-again Christian after he talked her into selling him drugs from her husband's pharmacy. When this was discovered everyone thought she was the murderer but this was proved false when they found her body after Diane stabbed her. After Muriel's death, Mort finds himself in financial trouble in "Burning Down the Bayit" as he isn't able to cheat the customers the way she could. With Peter and Quagmire, they plot to burn down the pharmacy to collect the insurance. But Peter slips up and Joe arrests them, only to let them free when they bring back memories of how an insurance company screwed Joe after his paralyzing accident. Neil Goldman Neil Goldman is the school nerd on Family Guy, complete with acne, glasses, and whatever else comes with the job. Without his retainer in, he has a surprisingly deep and seductive voice. At some point prior to "The Kiss Seen Around the World", Sam Beckett of''Quantum Leap'' fame replaced him, and won't be able to leap out until he gets Meg Griffin to fall in love with him. Neil once dated a girl named Cicillia in "8 Simple Rules for Buying My Teenage Daughter" who thinks his psoriasis is sexy. He recently seems to have lost his interests in Meg, and when Meg inadvertently joins her school's lesbian club, Neil believes her to have become a lesbian and assumes that that was the reason she always rejected him. Neil is editor of the High School newspaper, The James Woods Bugle. Thinking that her last moment had come, Meg allowed Neil to kiss her in "The Kiss Seen Around the World". True to his nerdish form, Neil later exploited images of the event, even printing T-shirts for all the schoolkids to wear. He's also a fan of the X-Men. Neil is the son of Mort and Muriel Goldman, he is also Jennifer Love Hewitt's cousin. His mother dies in "And Then There Were Fewer" from Diane Simmons stabbing her, leaving him motherless and Mort a widower. In "8 Simple Rules for Buying My Teenage Daughter", Neil is shown behind the counter at his father's pharmacy. In that episode he is employee of the month as well. He has no solos in the performance of "All I Really Want For Christmas" in "Road to the North Pole", appearing at the very end. He reappears as Meg's biology classmate in "You Can't Do That On Television, Peter" where he objects to dissecting a pig. In the uncensored version of "Friends Without Benefits", Meg tries to claim that Neil is gay. Neil starts to protest, but admits he really is gay to the cheers of the school as he is hoisted on the shoulders of the school jocks. He is present in "Roads to Vegas" when Stewie imagines Lois milking his and Brian's deaths. He is voiced by Seth Green, which is parodied in an exchange with Chris Griffin at Meg's wedding in "Peter's Daughter". His name was lent to by early Family Guy writer Neil Goldman. Neil Goldman